Frequently Asked Questions (Family Law)

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A common mindset we emphasis to clients is that while they are the only person that can decide if it is time for them to get a divorce, we believe that the time is when staying married is worse than divorce. We encourage our clients to be ready for their decision when they make it, but also want them to know that many times individuals stay in a relationship far longer than they should and any chance of settling matters amicably are long gone. Resentment has replaced warm feelings and what might have been an agreement is now a year (or longer) matter with numerous filings and back and forth. Our initial goal in these situations is to help our client settle matters, which sometimes include discussions of what part of their goal is likely resentment, and which part is based on fairness. Based on those conversations we help clients sort through the emotional aspect of it and focus on the logical aspect and fairness. We use those conversations to help us determine our goals going forward as well.

This is a question we get asked a lot. If anyone can do for themselves what an attorney does, why do they need an attorney? Some people don’t. Some cases are simple the Court self-help packets work for those cases. However, the majority of cases get messy, require knowledge of Court cases, judges, management of evidence, calendaring, and a plethora of other logistics. Knowing what and when to file something can be just as important as knowing what evidence a judge needs to hear during a hearing. Those are the times that most people need attorneys. Our job is to use our experience and expertise to make sure that our clients get the best possible results. An attorney with over 30 years' experience once said, “I can read a surgery manual and learn how to remove my gallbladder myself but isn’t it better if I trust the doctor who has been trained on it to do instead.” When your livelihood or children or both are on the line, do you trust yourself to know best how to handle it?

During a divorce, it normal for a party to grieve. Sometimes it is over the loss of what once was, others it is over the loss of what could be. Rarely is grieving not a part of the process. So we do feel it is important for everyone going through the process to realize that they will likely grieve and what that process looks like. The following five stages are often experienced not in order, and sometimes more than one of the stages can be experienced at a time. The stages are:

Denial - This isn’t happening to me!

Anger – How could they do this to me? Why are they so horrible?

Bargain – Please (insert God, universe, greater power) I will never do this again… Or what if I did something different?

Depression – Why go at all? What’s the point?

Acceptance – It is over. I need to spend time on me, heal, and move on. 

The final step is always true acceptance. It is the part where an individual finally accepts it and lets go, moving on with their life in a way that allows them to heal and grow. Not everyone will always reach this step, and other will struggle for years before they do.